23rd March 2011
Post with 10 notes
- “Salve Nauta” across my knuckles: That’s “Hello, Sailor” in Latin. How many times have you wanted to make a Mae West-esque pass at a classics scholar and not known how best to break the ice? All the time, right? Now you can just punch ‘em in the face with both fists! Then they’ll totally ask for your number!
- Elbow-length, black gloves: For a touch of elegance.
- A cute boy’s number on the back of my hand: Then everyone will know how awesome and desirable I am and will invite me to all their parties, and they’ll ask about whose number it is, and I’ll be all coy about it and say things like “Wouldn’t you like to know!” before somebody points out that it starts with “555,” and then I’ll be like [sotto voice] “Just shut up, okay? Why do you have to ruin this for me?”
- A bandit mask over my eyes: I could just rob a bank whenever!
- A tramp stamp of a wolf’s face, flanked by killer piranha side-pieces: I tried this out as a temporary tattoo, and it just made me feel so powerful, you know?
- The word “DIGNITY” across my collarbone, in giant Gothic script: You know how there’s that ludicrous tattoo deterrent for women “Think about how it would look with your wedding dress!” Well goddamn, if I had DIGNITY tattooed across my collarbone, I think it would look just fantastic! I would wear a strapless dress, just to show it off, and everyone would be dabbing at their eyes with lacy handkerchiefs and saying “What a dignified bride!”
- Friendly sideburns, like Chester A. Arthur: Just until I can grow my own.
Tagged: liststattoos
